(Thanks for tuning in to Part 2 of 2 our this journal blog as we continue down the road to adoption).
3. Surround Yourself With People Who Encourage and Support You
When I was told to “surround yourself with people who encourage and support you” from an adoption agency AND through adoption training (which we’ll cover in a blog in the near future), I was a little stifled as it never occurred to me that people wouldsurround themselves with anything less than people who encourage and support you and your endeavors. Little did I know, people sometimes get very comfortable with their friendships and environments, they get secure and they don’t feel the need to rock the boat or make waves. As friends of mine know, I’m the kid who jumps into the pool yelling “CANNON BALL” as everyone else is just quiet and relaxed.
In the past I was the type of person who loved to make other people happy while tossing my own “needs and wants” to the side using the terms “I’ll get to it later”. I found happiness in seeing other people successful, supported, well advised and progressing. Meanwhile, I was stationary! It’s like when you go to the beach and stand on the sand where the water is just covering your ankles. If you stay in that position for a period of time, the water keep rushing in and out and your legs get deeper and deeper in the sand. You feel STUCK, you feel isolated and if you’re there in one place long enough, you can’t get yourself out alone.
Once you get too deep you’re going to need someone to help pull you out. Who can you count on? Who has the time to help? Who will help you without asking for something later? These are great questions that I hope you have the answer to. If not, you may need to reassess who you’re surrounding yourself with.
I consider myself very fortunate to be raised with a family who is very supportive. They may be a little judgemental and opinionated but they stand beside you. My grandmother likes to watch the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” and talks about it all the time. I think it’s because she can see the similarity in our family dynamic. (She’s hilarious!)
When it comes to friends, I’d like to think we all have friends. My close friends are those that I consider an extended family. They come to your home and treat it like it’s their own home. They’re ready to jump on a plane to take an adventure and they plan holidays WITH your entire family.
In the adoption process, be sure you have people who can encourage and support you. It doesn’t have to be blood relatives as each of us has a different definition of whom we consider our family. You may be adopting on your own and having a few trust worthy individuals ( for example: babysitter, aunt, uncle, work friends, etc.) will provide great support throughout the process and post adoption. (We haven’t reached that part yet (post adoption) but I’ll be sure to come back to that upon completing it.)
4. DO your DUE DILIGENCE
Well before you think about bringing your child through your front door, there’s so much more to do. DUE DILIGENCE is important to you because you should research, research and research prior to making any steps.
I’m a HUGE advocate of RESEARCHING! I made my LIST (reference to Part 1) while taking steps to pay down my debt. I committed myself to 1 hour a night to research and find resources who will be able to help me throughout this adoption process. My personal advice… “Never leave anything to chance”. Find out the different types of adoption that are available to you. Find out the range of costs that will be associated with each program. Join adoption chat rooms and Facebook pages to see if you can tap into the wealth of knowledge from people who have already “been there, done that”.
Check back later I’ll be posting a few links that we used during our “Due Diligence Process” to educate ourselves. Don’t get me wrong… you WON’T know everything and surprises always await around every corner. But this way you’ll at least have general knowledge and a better understanding about the process to adopt.